Hadith 15 & 16 — Speech, Hospitality, and Anger: The Pillars of Social Harmony

[Arabic,إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ، نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَسَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ.]

Indeed, all praise is for Allah. We praise Him, seek His help, and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil within ourselves and from the consequences of our wrong actions. Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide; whomsoever He leaves astray, none can guide. I bear witness there is no deity worthy of worship but Allah alone without partner, and Muhammad ﷺ is His servant and Messenger.

Part One: The Tongue, the Neighbor, and the Guest — Three Tests of True Faith

Brothers,

Let me ask you something that will reveal the state of your iman right now. When was the last time you bit your tongue so hard you could taste blood rather than say what you wanted to say? When was the last time your neighbor annoyed you—played his music too loud, invaded your space, disrespected you—and you smiled and made du'a for him instead? When was the last time someone needed something from you when you barely had enough for yourself, and you gave it anyway?

Your answers tell you exactly where you stand with Allah.

The Ultimate Test: Hadith 15

The Prophet ﷺ didn't mince words when he connected our social behavior directly to our belief in Allah and the Day of Judgment:

[Hadith,Bukhari (6018) & Muslim (47),"On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day speak good or remain silent. Let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his neighbor. And let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his guest.'"]

Listen carefully: "Let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day..." Three times! This isn't advice. This isn't a suggestion. This is the Prophet ﷺ telling you that your faith is fake if your tongue is loose, your neighbor is suffering, and your guest feels unwelcome. You can pray all five prayers, fast Ramadan, memorize Quran—but if you fail these three tests, your faith is incomplete.

The Destroyer in Your Mouth

Brothers, that piece of flesh between your teeth has sent more people to Hellfire than any weapon ever created. The Prophet ﷺ revealed a terrifying reality:

[Hadith,Tirmidhi (2616),"Most of a person's sins come from his tongue."]

Most! Not from your hands that might steal. Not from your eyes that might look at haram. Not from your desires that pull you toward sin. Most of your sins come from that small piece of flesh you use so carelessly every single day.

Let me paint you a picture of what happens in this very place every single day. You wake up, and before your feet hit the floor, you're already complaining about the noise, the food, the COs, the heat, the cold. You get to breakfast, and you're talking about what someone did last night, spreading stories that aren't your business. By noon, you've backbitten at least three brothers, argued about nothing important, and said things you can't take back. By lights out, your tongue has earned you more sins than a thief who robbed a bank.

The Test of Silence

Here's what will shock you: The Prophet ﷺ said, "Speak good or remain silent." Do you understand what this means? It means if what you're about to say isn't actively good—not neutral, not "okay," but actually good—then your mouth should stay closed.

Test yourself right now. Think about your last five conversations. How much of what you said was:

Actually beneficial:

Remembering Allah
Teaching something useful
Encouraging a brother who's down
Giving sincere advice
Making peace between people

Completely worthless:

Repeating the same stories everyone knows
Complaining about things that won't change
Arguing about sports teams that don't know you exist
Gossiping about other people's business
Making jokes at others' expense

Straight-up destructive:

Backbiting (and yes, it's still backbiting even if it's true)
Lying or exaggerating
Breaking someone's heart with harsh words
Spreading rumors and private information
Cursing and vulgar speech

If you're honest—and be honest because Allah is watching—most of what comes out of your mouth falls into the last two categories.

The Prophet ﷺ warned us about a terrifying reality. When Mu'adh ibn Jabal asked if we'd really be held accountable for what we say, the Prophet ﷺ struck his thigh and exclaimed:

[Hadith,Tirmidhi (2616),"May your mother lose you, O Mu'adh! Are people thrown into the Fire on their faces or noses for anything other than the harvests of their tongues?"]

The harvests of their tongues! Every word you speak is a seed. You're either planting gardens of Paradise or fields of Hellfire. Which harvest will you reap on the Day of Judgment?

Your Neighbor: The Test You Can't Escape

Now let's talk about the brother in the cell next to you, across from you, or sharing your space. That's your neighbor, and the Prophet ﷺ emphasized his rights so much that the companions thought neighbors would start inheriting from each other:

[Hadith,Bukhari (6015) & Muslim (2625),"Jibril kept advising me about the neighbor until I thought he would make him an heir."]

But here's the reality I see every day: You can't stand your neighbor. He irritates you. He's too loud when you're trying to sleep. Too quiet when you want to talk. He borrows and doesn't return. He doesn't clean up after himself. He gets on your last nerve.

And you think your irritation justifies your treatment of him?

The Prophet ﷺ swore by Allah three times—three times!—about this matter:

[Hadith,Ahmad (23907),"By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe!" They said, "Who, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "The one whose neighbor is not safe from his evil."]

Let that sink in. You can't have complete faith while your neighbor fears you, dreads interacting with you, or wishes you would just leave him alone. Your neighbor—that brother who annoys you, who you can't wait to get away from—his comfort is tied to your iman!

The Brutal Truth About Your Neighbor

Be honest with yourself right now:

Does your cellmate dread when you come back from programs because he knows you'll complain for an hour?

Does the brother next door avoid making eye contact because he knows you'll start drama?

When you're angry, does everyone in your vicinity tense up, knowing they might catch strays from your mood?

When you cook, do you make sure the smell doesn't torture the hungry brother three cells down who has no food?

When someone new moves nearby, do they hear warnings about you within the first day?

If your neighbor was asked, "Do you feel safe from his harm?" what would he say? And I don't just mean physical harm. I mean:

Safe from your tongue that might expose his faults
Safe from your gossip about his personal business
Safe from your loud music when he's trying to pray
Safe from your negativity poisoning his day
Safe from your jealousy when he gets good news

The Prophet ﷺ said:

[Hadith,Bukhari (6016),"He is not a believer whose stomach is full while his neighbor goes hungry."]

But it's not just about food. He's not a believer who has peace while his neighbor has anxiety because of him. He's not a believer who has friends while his neighbor is isolated because of his backbiting. He's not a believer who sleeps well while his neighbor can't sleep because of his noise.

The Guest Who Reveals Your Heart

Now, about hospitality—and yes, you have guests even here. That brother who stops by your cell to talk. The one who needs to borrow something. The new arrival who doesn't know anyone. These are all your guests, and how you treat them reveals your heart.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

[Hadith,Bukhari (6019) & Muslim (48),"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should honor his guest."]

But watch how we actually act:

Someone comes to your cell, and you make them feel like they're bothering you. You keep looking at the clock, giving one-word answers, making it clear you want them gone.

A brother asks to borrow coffee, and you either lie and say you don't have any, or you give it with such a bad attitude that he wishes he never asked.

Someone new arrives, scared and confused, and instead of welcoming him, you size him up to see what you can get from him.

This isn't Islam. This is jahiliyyah—ignorance—dressed up in Muslim clothes.

The Three Commands Working Together

These three commands create a complete system:

Your tongue determines whether you build or destroy. Your neighbor tests whether your faith extends beyond yourself. Your guest reveals whether you have genuine generosity or just selfishness.

Together, they answer one question: Do you really believe in Allah and the Last Day, or are you just pretending?

Because on the Last Day:

Every word will be presented to you
Every neighbor will testify for or against you
Every guest will bear witness to your character

Allah will ask: "I gave you a tongue—did you use it for My remembrance or for destruction? I gave you neighbors—did you fulfill their rights or oppress them? I sent you guests—did you honor them or turn them away?"

What will you answer?

Part Two: The Poison of Anger — Why You Fail Every Test

Brothers,

Now I'm going to tell you why most of us fail the three commands from the first hadith. It's one word, one emotion, one split second that destroys everything: ANGER.

You want to speak good or remain silent, but then someone disrespects you, and anger makes you unleash your tongue like a weapon.

You want to be good to your neighbor, but then he does something that irritates you, and anger makes you plot revenge instead of showing mercy.

You want to be hospitable, but you're stressed, frustrated, and when someone needs something, anger makes you snap instead of serve.

This is why the Prophet ﷺ, when asked for advice, gave this man only one word—repeated:

The One-Word Solution: Hadith 16

[Hadith,Bukhari (6116),"On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: A man said to the Prophet ﷺ: 'Advise me.' He said: 'Do not become angry.' The man repeated his request several times, and each time he said: 'Do not become angry.'"]

The man kept asking for more advice. He probably thought, "That's it? Don't get angry? Give me something deeper, something more complex." But the Prophet ﷺ knew: Master this one thing, and everything else falls into place. Fail at this, and nothing else matters.

The Moment of Madness That Ruins Everything

Brothers, let me tell you about the last time you destroyed something beautiful. It started with a trigger—someone said something, did something, looked at you wrong. Then came that familiar heat rising in your chest, that tightness in your throat, that clenching of your fists.

In that moment, Shaytan whispered: "You can't let this slide. What will people think? You have to respond. You have to show them."

And in the next three seconds, you undid three years of brotherhood. In one minute of rage, you destroyed what took months to build. In a single angry outburst, you became everything you swore you'd never be.

Now you're sitting in your cell, replaying it over and over. "Why did I say that? Why did I do that? I didn't mean it." But it's too late. The words are out. The damage is done. The brother won't even look at you anymore.

This is what Ali ibn Abi Talib meant when he said:

[Quote,Ali ibn Abi Talib,Nahjul Balagha,"Anger begins with madness and ends with regret."]

The Fire Inside You

The Prophet ﷺ revealed something terrifying about anger:

[Hadith,Ahmad (17985),"Anger comes from Shaytan, and Shaytan was created from fire."]

When you're angry, you're literally carrying Hellfire inside you. Your chest burns, your face gets hot, your blood boils—these aren't metaphors. You're experiencing a taste of the Fire that Shaytan came from.

And look what this fire makes you do:

To your tongue: That brother you just cursed out? Five minutes ago, you would have given him your last dollar. But anger made you say things that cut deeper than any knife.

To your family: Those phone calls home where you explode at your mother, your wife, your children—people who love you, who wait for your calls, who cry when you hang up angry. All because something stressed you out before the call, and anger made you take it out on them.

To your prayer: You're so angry you can't even focus in salah. You're standing before Allah, but all you can think about is revenge, getting even, making them pay. Your anger is literally blocking your connection to Allah.

To your future: How many of us are here because of what we did in anger? One moment of rage that changed everything. And even now, how many more years might we add because we can't control our temper?

The Test of True Strength

We live in a world that confuses strength with aggression. If you don't react when disrespected, you're "soft." If you don't retaliate when wronged, you're "weak." If you forgive instead of fight, you're "scared."

But the Prophet ﷺ redefined strength forever:

[Hadith,Bukhari (6114) & Muslim (2609),"The strong man is not the one who defeats others in wrestling, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when angry."]

Any animal can lash out when provoked. A dog bites when threatened. A cat scratches when cornered. It takes zero intelligence, zero character, zero strength to explode in anger.

But to feel that fire rising and extinguish it? To have every reason to retaliate and choose mercy instead? To be capable of destruction and choose construction? That's power. That's strength. That's what separates humans guided by revelation from animals driven by instinct.

The Price You're Paying Right Now

Let me show you what anger is costing you at this very moment:

Your good deeds: The Prophet ﷺ said anger consumes good deeds like fire consumes wood. All those prayers, fasts, dhikr—burned up in moments of rage.

Your relationships: Count how many brothers don't talk to you anymore because of something said or done in anger. Count the family members who've grown distant because of your temper.

Your peace: You can't sleep because you're replaying arguments. You can't focus because you're planning revenge. You can't enjoy anything because anger has poisoned your heart.

Your du'as: How can you raise your hands to Allah when those same hands were just clenched in rage? How can you ask for mercy when you just showed none?

Breaking the Cycle: Practical Solutions That Work

The Prophet ﷺ gave us a complete anger management system that actually works:

1. Seek refuge immediately: When you feel anger rising, say "A'udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajeem." The Prophet ﷺ saw a man so angry his face was red and his veins were bulging, and he said:

[Hadith,Bukhari (6048),"I know a word that if he said it, what he feels would go away."]

But here's the key: You have to say it THE MOMENT you feel anger starting, not after you're already enraged.

2. Change your position: [Hadith,Abu Dawud (4782),"When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down."]

This isn't just about physical position. It's about breaking the momentum. Anger wants immediate action. By forcing yourself to sit or lie down, you're forcing a pause that can save you from destruction.

3. Be silent: [Hadith,Ahmad (1376),"If one of you becomes angry, let him be silent."]

This is the hardest but most effective. The damage from anger comes from what we say more than what we do. If you can just shut your mouth for sixty seconds, the wave will pass.

4. Make wudu: Cool water on hot skin. The ritual that connects you to prayer. The physical act that breaks the psychological state. The Prophet ﷺ said anger is from fire, and fire is extinguished with water.

5. Remember who you're really fighting: When someone makes you angry, remember it's not really them you're fighting—it's Shaytan using them to destroy you. Would you let Shaytan win that easily?

The Promise for Those Who Control Their Anger

Brothers, listen to this promise from your Prophet ﷺ:

[Hadith,Abu Dawud (4777),"Whoever suppresses his anger when he is able to act upon it, Allah will call him before all of creation on the Day of Resurrection and let him choose whichever of the Hur al-Ayn he wishes."]

Think about that. Control your anger in this cell, and choose your companion in Paradise. Bite your tongue when disrespected here, and Allah will honor you before all of creation there. Show mercy when you could show wrath, and Allah will show you pleasures beyond imagination.

But it's not just about Paradise. Allah describes the people He loves:

[Quran,3:134,"Those who spend in prosperity and adversity, who restrain anger and who pardon people—and Allah loves those who do good."]

Allah loves those who restrain anger. When did Allah last love something you did? Could it be as simple as the next time you choose patience over rage?

The Challenge I'm Giving You

Brothers, I'm not asking you to be perfect. I'm asking you to try this for just one week:

When someone disrespects you, count to ten before responding. Use those ten seconds to remember Allah, seek refuge from Shaytan, and ask yourself: "Will my response please Allah or Shaytan?"

When your neighbor annoys you, force yourself to make one positive du'a for him. Just one. "O Allah, guide him. O Allah, forgive him." Watch how it changes your heart.

When you feel anger rising, physically remove yourself. Go make wudu. Walk away. Do push-ups. Anything except unleash that fire on others.

Track how many times you succeed. Not perfection—just progress. Because every time you control your anger, you're literally rewiring your soul, breaking Shaytan's hold, and building your rank with Allah.

The Community We Could Build

Imagine if everyone here implemented these two hadiths for just one month:

No more explosive arguments in the dayroom. Brothers would speak good or remain silent.

No more tension between cellmates. Everyone would fulfill their neighbor's rights.

No more cold rejection of those in need. Hospitality would flow even in hardship.

No more violence over petty disputes. Anger would be controlled before it controlled us.

This wouldn't just be a prison. It would be a piece of Paradise on earth. A place where men come broken and leave whole. Where hearts come hard and leave soft. Where lives come ruined and leave rebuilt.

This is what the Prophet ﷺ envisioned when he gave us these teachings. Not a utopia, but a real, achievable community built on controlled tongues, honored neighbors, welcomed guests, and mastered anger.

The question is: Will you be part of building it, or will you keep tearing it down?

O Allah, grant us tongues that speak only good or remain silent.

O Allah, make us neighbors who bring security, not fear.

O Allah, grant us hearts that welcome guests even in hardship.

O Allah, give us the strength to control our anger when provoked.

O Allah, replace our rage with mercy, our hardness with softness.

O Allah, make us keys to good and locks to evil in our communities.

O Allah, let our last words be good words, and our last deeds be kindness.

O Allah, gather us in Paradise as we strive to live together in peace here.

We ask Allah to make us firm upon His straight path, to guide us and not let us go astray, to have mercy on us and forgive us.

Whatever good was said in this khutbah is from Allah alone, and whatever mistakes or errors are from myself and from Shaytan. I ask Allah to forgive me and you for any shortcomings.

I say these words of mine, and I seek forgiveness from Allah for myself and you all. Seek His forgiveness—indeed, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

[Arabic,أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا، وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ.]