Nawawi Hadith 20: When Shame Is Gone

Part One: A Warning Disguised as Permission

Brothers,

Today’s khutbah is based on the 20th hadith in Imam Nawawi’s 40 Hadith:

On the authority of Abu Mas'ud Uqbah ibn Amr al-Ansari al-Badri (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Verily, among that which the people have found from the words of the earlier prophethood is: If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.' (Bukhari)

At first hearing, this hadith sounds like permission. Do as you wish. But listen again. The Prophet ﷺ is not granting freedom. He is describing a chain reaction and issuing a warning wrapped inside it. He tells us this saying is preserved from the earliest prophets, meaning it is not a new idea invented for this ummah. It is a truth built into human nature since the beginning, one every prophet before him confirmed.

This is why Imam Nawawi placed it among these forty core hadiths. It is short enough to memorize in a single hearing, yet it carries a complete theology of the conscience: a warning that shame is a gift, and its absence is not liberation but the collapse of the last inner defense a person has against his own worst impulses.

Part 1: Reading the Hadith Correctly

Scholars have explained this statement in two complementary ways, and both point to the same conclusion. First, as a command in the form of a warning: if you have reached a state where you feel no shame at all, a corrupted heart with no restraint left in it, then you will inevitably do whatever you wish, however evil, because the one internal guard that would have stopped you is gone.

Second, as a genuine test: before you act, ask yourself honestly whether you would be ashamed for Allah, for the angels, for the Prophet ﷺ, for righteous people, to see what you are about to do. If the answer is yes, you already know the action is wrong, and you should not need any further ruling to stop you. Haya itself is proof enough.

Haya does not bring anything except good. (Bukhari & Muslim)

This single sentence is one of the most sweeping statements in the entire body of hadith. Not most of the time. Not usually. Haya brings nothing but good, without exception. Whatever haya restrains you from was already something harmful for you to do.

Part 2: Haya Is Part of Faith

The Prophet ﷺ tied haya directly to iman itself, not as a minor branch but as an essential one.

Iman has over seventy branches, and haya is a branch of iman. (Bukhari & Muslim)

The Prophet ﷺ passed by a man who was rebuking his brother for being too shy, and he said, 'Leave him, for haya is part of iman.' (Bukhari & Muslim)

This second hadith corrects a mistake many people make today, treating shyness and modesty as weakness to be trained out of a person. The Prophet ﷺ defended the man being mocked for his haya, because haya, properly understood, is not timidity or social awkwardness. It is a spiritual sensitivity, an awareness of Allah’s presence that makes a person recoil from what displeases Him.

And Allah is not shy of the truth. (Al-Ahzaab, 33:53)

This ayah contrasts Allah’s directness in stating the truth with the natural human quality of haya, the very quality the Prophet ﷺ himself embodied so completely that his companions described him as shier than a virgin behind her veil, and yet firmer than anyone in stating what was right and forbidding what was wrong. True haya never prevented him from speaking truth. It only prevented him from cruelty, indecency, and shamelessness.

Part 3: An Example of Haya in the Qur’an

Allah gives us a beautiful picture of haya in the story of Musa, upon him be peace, when he arrived as a stranger in Madyan.

Then one of the two women came to him, walking shyly, and said, 'My father invites you so that he may reward you for watering ˹our flocks˺ for us.' (Al-Qasas, 28:25)

This young woman’s shyness did not stop her from fulfilling a necessary duty, delivering an honest invitation. Haya is not the absence of action or speech. It is the presence of dignity and restraint within action and speech. She spoke clearly while carrying herself with modesty, exactly the balance the Prophet ﷺ modeled his entire life.

Haya is a light Allah places in the heart, by which a servant sees the ugliness of sin before he commits it, and it is this light that prevents him even when no created being is watching. (Ibn al-Qayyim)

Part 4: Haya Before Allah, Not Only Before People

The deepest form of haya is not shame before other people. Many men behave perfectly in public and abandon every restraint the moment they are alone. True haya is shame before Allah, who sees the servant in every state, alone or among a crowd.

They seek to hide ˹their evil˺ from people, but they can never hide ˹it˺ from Allah. He is with them ˹even˺ when they plot at night what is not pleasing to Him. And Allah is Ever Encompassing of what they do. (An-Nisaa, 4:108)

A man who has cultivated haya before Allah does not need a witness to restrain him. He restrains himself, because he knows the true Witness never leaves.

Be mindful of Allah as He deserves to be mindfully feared. (Tirmidhi)

Some of the earliest generations understood this hadith to mean: never let Allah see you where He has forbidden you to be, and never let Him miss you where He has commanded you to be. This is haya taken to its fullest expression, not merely avoiding what is shameful, but actively positioning yourself where Allah wants you, in prayer, in honest work, in good company, so that wherever He looks for you, He finds you obedient.

Part 5: Haya Does Not Mean Silence in the Face of Wrong

It is worth clarifying what haya is not. Haya is not staying silent when you witness injustice out of fear of awkwardness. It is not failing to advise a brother who is clearly heading toward harm because you feel too shy to speak. The Prophet ﷺ, the shyest of men, still corrected companions, taught openly, and forbade wrong when he saw it. Haya restrains you from sin and indecency. It does not restrain you from truth, courage, or sincere advice given with kindness.

Part Two: Cultivating Haya in Daily Life

Brothers,

Part 6: The Prison Context, Haya Where Privacy Disappears

Brothers, this hadith carries a particular weight in this place. Privacy here is almost nonexistent, and yet paradoxically, many men learn to do things here they would never have done at home, precisely because the eyes watching them are strangers, and the shame of family and community has been removed from the equation. If you feel no shame, do as you wish, the hadith warns, and this environment can quietly strip away the shame that used to hold a man back.

Do not let this place erode your haya. If anything, let it sharpen it, because the true audience for your actions was never your neighbors, your family, or your old community. It was always Allah, and He is watching you here exactly as He watched you before you arrived and exactly as He will watch you after you leave.

Haya here also means dignity in how you carry yourself among other men, refusing what is indecent even when it is normalized around you, refusing to join in what your conscience recognizes as shameful even when refusing costs you social standing. This is haya in its most tested form, and the reward for maintaining it here is greater precisely because it is harder here.

Use the honest test the scholars gave us. Before any action, ask yourself: would I be ashamed if my mother saw this? Would I be ashamed if the Prophet ﷺ saw this? Would I be ashamed standing before Allah on the Day of Judgment with this action on my record? If the answer to any of these is yes, you already have your answer, without needing anyone to explain the ruling to you.

Part 7: Haya as a Path Back

For men who feel they have already lost their haya, who feel numb to shame after what this environment has exposed them to, this hadith is not a condemnation. It is an invitation. Haya can be rebuilt the same way it was lost, gradually, through consistent turning back to Allah, through remembering Him often, through surrounding yourself with brothers who still carry this light and can help you recover it.

Haya and iman are joined together. When one of them is lifted, the other is lifted with it. (Tirmidhi)

If you feel your haya returning, treat it as a sign that your iman is returning too, and nurture it. If you feel it slipping, take that as a warning sign for your iman as a whole, and respond immediately with repentance and renewed closeness to Allah.

Part 8: The Fruit of Haya

A man who cultivates haya before Allah becomes a man of dignity before people as well. He does not need external rules to behave honorably, because an internal light already guides him away from what is shameful. This is the freedom hidden inside this hadith. Far from being permission to do as you wish, it is a description of the only real safeguard a person has once every external restraint is removed, which is exactly the condition so many of you live in here every single day.

O Allah, restore and increase our haya before You.

O Allah, let us feel Your watchfulness in every private moment as strongly as we would in public.

O Allah, do not let this place strip away the shame that protects our hearts from sin.

O Allah, give us the courage to speak truth while never abandoning modesty and dignity.

O Allah, join our haya to our iman, and let neither weaken without the other returning quickly.

O Allah, surround us with brothers who remind us of You and strengthen our modesty.

O Allah, forgive us for the moments we acted as though You were not watching.

O Allah, make us people of dignity, modesty, and sincere shame before You alone.